In Constant Flux

Hmm...what to write.

Life is hard. Sometimes life is really hard. I don't know why. It doesn't seem fair, but everyone always told me that life isn't fair so what was I expecting? It's confusing. There's so many things pulling you in so many directions. At times it seems impossible. My problem, I think, is that I focus too much energy on the wrong things. They aren't bad things, per se, but I'm sure I could save some of that energy and focus it on more important things. Why do we sometimes feel depressed? Maybe not everyone does, but I do at times. There are days when I just feel useless and unimportant like I just simply don't belong.

I'm not very good in social settings. I say dumb things. I am shy. I try too hard. I really don't care what people think of me, but after certain awkward situations I almost always walk away thinking that I could have said or done something different. Will I ever do something the right way so I don't have to think about what I could have done better?

Once again beating a dead horse. Will I ever figure out what I was meant to do with my life? I don't seem to fit anywhere or be competent enough. Hmm. Is there something out that that really has my name stamped on it? Will I know it if I find it? Will it be my passion? I hope so. Introspect sucks.