In Constant Flux

I got back from my backpacking trip yesterday. It was fabulous. Three days of drinking water with dead insects floating in it that I scooped from a stagnant pool in the middle of the desert. Watching my teacher, who has the biggest belly ever, almost eat it when he trips on a rock. Meeting some of the coolest people I think I have ever known and loving every single second of it.

Except...

I had too much time to think. When that happens, my life goes down the crapper in my head. Of course I think about it all the time, but when I slow down for a minute it goes crazy. Since I got home from my mission I have had this struggle in my mind of what it is that I love and want to do for the rest of my life. Of course getting married was number one on the list and I couldn't have gotten a better girl. Why? Because she's just simply the best. But then there's the question of my means of earning a living for like the next 50 years. First, I wanted to be a doctor, then a pilot, then a doctor again, then a research biologist, then a professor, then a high school teacher, then a park ranger, then be on search and rescue, etc. etc. etc. I have even considered being a cop and even just a bum on the street (I'm pretty sure Aimee wouldn't like that).

The question is then, is how do you people know what your passion is? How are you so dedicated to one thing? Don't you think you might get bored after 30 years of the same thing? That's what I'm afraid of. I don't want to pick one thing cause I'm scared of not liking it later. It all just makes me want to cry. How do you know when it's just the right thing?

Hmmm...back to just thinking and changing my mind every minute until I figure it out I guess.